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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29737371">memories are made of this</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johncowdrey/pseuds/Johncowdrey'>Johncowdrey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Endeavour (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, ronnie gidderstone danny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:55:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29737371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johncowdrey/pseuds/Johncowdrey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joan looks back on her life and lovers on her 60th birthday<br/>this episode takes us to January 1968<br/>canon compliant but some new scenes icluded that could<br/>have happened , but were cut from the t.v show<br/>also a new plausible character.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Endeavour Morse/Joan Thursday, Joan Thursday/Other(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a special thank you to Lady AJ -13 for the  marvellous<br/>The Dating History Of Joan Thursday which put<br/>the idea in my head in the first place.</p>
<p>I hope every one who reads this enjoys it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Memories are made of this:<br/>
11th April 2002<br/>
Introduction:<br/>
Joan’s thoughts on her sixtieth birthday, and coincidentally, her twentieth<br/>
wedding anniversary, about her life and loves as told by Joan with the help<br/>
of an unknown narrator.</p>
<p>Chapter 1 </p>
<p>Joan was sitting in her favourite armchair pondering her sixtieth birthday<br/>
and celebrating, if you like to call it that, with a glass or two of her favourite<br/>
Amontillado Sherry and a box of “Week End” chocolates a reminder of her<br/>
teenage years, a happy time when her only problem seemed to be which<br/>
boy to go out with next.</p>
<p>She remembered that she had done quite well with her “O” levels, passing<br/>
five, despite being out most nights at the local Jazz Clubs, Roxy Cinema or<br/>
simply snogging with some boy in the local park, instead of revising and<br/>
doing her homework, which made her father want to tear his hair out during<br/>
their many arguments on this subject.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her dad, Fred, was also always comparing her to her hard working, but<br/>
less academically able, younger brother, which did not impress the wilful<br/>
Joan or add to family harmony.<br/>
Her mother always stuck up for Joan by telling her husband<br/>
“She’s only going to be young once Fred.”</p>
<p>Because of her exam success she was able to get a good job as a junior<br/>
with the Wessex Bank.  Although she obviously didn’t realise it at the time,<br/>
taking this job would have serious repercussions for her several years<br/>
down the line.</p>
<p>Joan’s mind went back to the Christmas party of 1960, and how she had<br/>
lost her virginity to Ronnie Gidderstone, the Chief Cashier, and Office<br/>
creep. Today it would definitely be called rape, but those were very<br/>
different times for young girls.<br/>
Joan only remembered she was very drunk, and very, very naive when she<br/>
was lured down to the vaults beneath the bank on some pretext or other.<br/>
His parting words when he had finished with her were” if you tell anyone,<br/>
you will live to regret it..... Not that anyone will believe a little slut like you.”</p>
<p>Joan knew that despite their bickering, she was her Dad’s favourite, and if<br/>
he found out about this; it was likely that Gidderstone might not get the<br/>
chance to live to regret it, and so she kept her mouth shut.</p>
<p>“I was very tempted to resign, but then I thought why should I?<br/>
I had done nothing wrong, I decided to confront Gidderstone<br/>
every single day with my presence and contempt.” </p>
<p>She was the beneficiary of a couple of important promotions arranged for<br/>
her by Gidderstone to help salve his guilty conscious, and to try and<br/>
appease the stony-faced Joan.</p>
<p>She also discovered 7 years later, when Ronnie lay dying at her knees that<br/>
she possessed the gift of forgiveness.</p>
<p>“I really fell for Paul” she thought while pouring herself another<br/>
glass of Sherry.  </p>
<p>“He was my first real lover, and I used to visit him after work, for a couple of<br/>
hours before he was due at the Bingo hall, it was sheer bliss, he was such<br/>
a wonderful lover.”</p>
<p>“The trouble was this, how could a nice middle-class girl like me, marry a<br/>
Bingo Caller who lived in a caravan.”</p>
<p>“My parents would have killed me!”</p>
<p>“I was always being told off for being late home for tea.<br/>
If they had only known what I had really been up to.”<br/>
Joan thinks with a huge smirk on her face.”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, I told him everything he wanted to know about my job, and<br/>
the Bank. Just pillow talk I thought at the time, but it turned out to be much<br/>
more serious than that.”</p>
<p>“The problem of Paul’s status or the lack of it would soon be solved by a<br/>
bigger one, when Paul was arrested for murder by my Dad’s Bagman<br/>
Morse.”</p>
<p>“The last time I spoke to Paul was the night before the robbery. He phoned<br/>
me at home while I was having dinner with my family, and of course my<br/>
Dad wanted to know all about my mysterious phone call.”</p>
<p>“Paul was in big trouble, and was having to leave the country. He wanted<br/>
me to go with him. I was really tempted, but I said no. Thank God I did.”</p>
<p>“It did not take me long to realise that if Paul talked, I could be arrested as<br/>
an accessory or worse an accomplice to the botched Wessex Bank robbery </p>
<p>“(The memory of which has blighted my life ever since.) “</p>
<p>“I was 25 and wanted a life of my own and so I ran away to Leamington<br/>
Spa, of all places.”</p>
<p>“I met Ray there, in the Cricketers Arms where I worked as a barmaid.<br/>
What a comedown! Before the robbery the rumour was that Gidderstone<br/>
was going to move on to a large branch in London and I was going to take<br/>
his place as the Deputy Manager would you believe.”</p>
<p>Joan lit a cigarette, and put one of her favourite Tamla Motown L.P.’s on<br/>
the record player to keep her in a nostalgic frame of mind, she leaned back<br/>
in her chair, and her mind was soon back in Leamington.</p>
<p>It was not often that she was without a boyfriend, and her time at The<br/>
Cricketers was no exception.<br/>
His name was Danny and he was celebrating his 21st birthday with some of<br/>
his friends, at the Disco adjoining the Cricketers pub. </p>
<p>They danced all night together, and at the end of the evening she sneaked<br/>
him into her room at the pub. Joan was amazed to find out that not only did<br/>
Danny’s parents own the Cricketers, plus several other pubs nearby,<br/>
as well as the local Brewery.</p>
<p>Joan became a member of his large circle of friends, and she was soon<br/>
enjoying life to the full once again, after the horror of early June.</p>
<p>Danny came from a nice family, and when he took her home to meet them,<br/>
it was obvious they all liked her a lot.<br/>
She was flattered to hear from his Mum that she was the first girl he had<br/>
ever brought home, and that she would always be more than welcome<br/>
there.</p>
<p>This happy state of affairs came to an abrupt halt when a buddy of Ray<br/>
Morton, who was unknown to her, threatened that unless she dumped<br/>
Danny, her affair with the alleged murderer Paul Marlock would soon<br/>
become common knowledge in Leamington.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t long before my new friends vanished, all preferring to take<br/>
Danny’s side, there was no way I could tell anyone the real reason for us<br/>
splitting up, least of all Danny. “  </p>
<p>“Ray however was always there to give me a shoulder to cry on, a lift into<br/>
town or a ten bob note when I was broke.”</p>
<p>Joan stubs out her cigarette, and carries on reminiscing after draining her<br/>
second glass of sherry.</p>
<p>“When Stan the Landlord had told me he had to let me go, if I was more<br/>
observant I might have seen Ray giving him a wink and a wad of notes, but<br/>
I didn’t, and I could have kissed his feet when he offered me his late Mum’s<br/>
flat at a nominal rent and just a few house rules.”</p>
<p>Joan began to confuse love with gratitude, and then as she became more<br/>
dependent on Ray she became blind to his increasingly manipulative<br/>
nature and bullying ways.</p>
<p>Always having to take the blame on herself for their fractious relationship<br/>
soon began to take its toll on Joan, and violence was not too far away.</p>
<p>“I learned pretty fast about the house rules, no male visitors, and I was<br/>
expected to welcome him into my bed whenever he felt like it.<br/>
I hate to remember that, but I suppose I had my needs too.”</p>
<p>“Looking back, Ray was by far the most selfish of my lovers, refusing<br/>
to take precautions, and angrily denying any responsibility when the<br/>
inevitable happened.”</p>
<p>6 weeks after she had moved into the flat, Ray knocked her down for the<br/>
first time. Prior to this his violence was limited to a few hard slaps.<br/>
. Joan was frightened out of her wits by this escalation in violence,<br/>
and so, she ran to the park to wait until his anger had subsided.</p>
<p>“Ray was in a jealous rage, after seeing me laughing and joking with Danny<br/>
in the High street, and I knew there would be trouble when I got home.<br/>
At the time I remember blaming myself for provoking him.”</p>
<p>“He had convinced himself Danny was the real father of our child.<br/>
I wished it was Danny’s, he would have been a lovely father, and a<br/>
marvellous husband, but by then it was too late, Danny had met someone<br/>
else.”</p>
<p>The next day she phoned Morse, and finding that she was too ashamed<br/>
and embarrassed to ask for help, she hung up when he answered the<br/>
phone, and later pretended it was not her.</p>
<p>” This was not a happy time for me, I was drinking too much Vodka, and my<br/>
G.P had been prescribing me Valium to help me to sleep.”</p>
<p>“Ray was in one of his more spiteful moods, and took great pleasure in<br/>
telling me that he had heard it through the grapevine that Danny was going<br/>
to ask me to get engaged just before we split, with a white wedding being<br/>
suggested by his family for June 1968.”</p>
<p>“The bastard couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of me having a white<br/>
Wedding.”</p>
<p>“He went on trying to wind me up by saying his family were loaded and<br/>
owned the local brewery. I knew all of this, and it didn’t matter to me, what<br/>
did matter was I learnt that in the past he had worked as a driver for the<br/>
Matthews Brothers.”</p>
<p>“So that was how he knew about Paul and me.”</p>
<p>“Morse and my Dad turned up at the flat within a few days of each other,<br/>
and they both summed up the situation pretty quickly, that I was Ray’s<br/>
mistress, and despite my bravado, I’ll never forget the look of contempt and<br/>
disappointment on Dad’s face.”</p>
<p>“When Ray opened the front door, shortly after Morse had left, he obviously<br/>
knew who he was, and was very keen to know all about his visit, he was so<br/>
concerned he forgot to give me a slap for breaking a house rule, that was a<br/>
result!”</p>
<p>“I remember that for some reason I ran to Morse for shelter after Dad beat<br/>
Ray up, and almost immediately he got angry when he saw my black eye.<br/>
Unbelievably he then asked me to marry him. I made some stupidly<br/>
flippant comment to his proposal, and then he seemed to lose his<br/>
nerve. It was very sad because if he had only asked me properly,<br/>
and was prepared to accept my baby I would probably have said yes.”</p>
<p>When Joan finally gets back to Leamington, she can see a light shining in<br/>
the sitting room window, and she hopes he has sobered up so she can<br/>
reason with him about her eviction in two weeks’ time.</p>
<p>“Hello darling I’m home” I remember saying, hoping sweet words might<br/>
appease him, but they certainly didn’t appease his wife who charged at me<br/>
like a Spanish fighting bull pushing me out of the front door, and over the<br/>
stairwell railings into oblivion.”</p>
<p>Joan wipes a tear from her eye as memories of her lost child come flooding<br/>
back to her, as she sips her sherry.</p>
<p>“When I woke up in Hospital, the nurse told me my husband had been to<br/>
see me while I was asleep. From her description it could only have been<br/>
Morse, I wonder why he never came back?”</p>
<p>Joan pops the last Savoy Truffle into her mouth, and she thinks back to<br/>
how she used to squabble with Dad over the box of Week End chocolates<br/>
particularly the Savoy Truffles.</p>
<p>“Ray turned up later that afternoon with the customary bouquet he had<br/>
brought from the local Esso petrol station.”</p>
<p>“He caused quite a lot of confusion when he claimed to be my husband.<br/>
A nurse asked me who the good looking one was, and I replied he was a<br/>
friend who worked with my Dad.  I could see Ray’s blood beginning to boil,<br/>
at the mere mention of my Dad and Morse, and so I asked a nurse to ask<br/>
him to leave, as I felt tired. After giving me a kiss on the cheek, he left<br/>
without making a fuss.” </p>
<p>Unfortunately, Ray was nothing, if not persistent and every visit went the<br/>
same way with him begging her to come back, proposals of marriage once<br/>
his divorce had come through, and the inevitable promise to change.<br/>
All this Joan had to listen to, while she only wanted to mourn her lost baby<br/>
and a peaceful nights sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He wore me down, my resistance was low, all the time he was there I was<br/>
hoping and praying Morse would show up so I could tell him I had changed<br/>
my mind about us getting married. I was so confused I would have done<br/>
anything to get Ray Morton out of my life.”</p>
<p>“All too soon it was time for me to be discharged, and there he was pleased<br/>
as punch with himself, standing beside the brand-new Ford Zodiac he had<br/>
bought for his brand-new chauffeuring business.”</p>
<p>The overwhelming urge to punch him in his smug face swept over her<br/>
again, but in reality, it wouldn’t help, because here she was again back to<br/>
square one.</p>
<p>Joan was expecting an important e-mail, and so she checked her inbox, but<br/>
no luck yet.</p>
<p>“I was determined not to go back to Mum and Dad’s, because I knew that if<br/>
I did move back to that oh so cosy life I would probably never leave.”</p>
<p>“I was suddenly in floods of tears at the mess I had made of my life after<br/>
such a promising beginning, and all Ray could say was “get in the car you<br/>
you stupid bitch.”</p>
<p>“No man would ever treat me like this again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Gynaecologist had told them both that because of Joan’s miscarriage<br/>
and fall, it would be sometime before sex was possible again which<br/>
pleased Joan a lot.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Ray’s wife was on remand at Holloway women’s<br/>
prison which meant he had no reason to leave the flat, which<br/>
didn’t please Joan at all.</p>
<p>She had started to phone her Mum regularly, and it wasn’t long before<br/>
Win suggested she came home for Christmas. In her innocence she<br/>
also asked if Ray would be coming with her. Joan didn’t know whether<br/>
to laugh or cry.</p>
<p>Sam would be home on leave, and Win promised to keep Fred in line, and<br/>
to make sure he behaved himself.</p>
<p>Joan was more than happy to accept as long as her Mum realised it was<br/>
just for Christmas.</p>
<p>“Christmas was lovely, nobody asked about the last six months or were<br/>
I’d been? We all ate too much, played scrabble, and watched the<br/>
Morecambe and Wise show on T.V. The only disappointment was that<br/>
Morse had promised to call round on Christmas Eve, but he never showed,<br/>
and I felt really upset that he obviously didn’t care for me as much as I<br/>
thought he did.”</p>
<p> “Dad just thought he was probably drunk in a pub somewhere.”</p>
<p>“One big surprise was that along with the presents my family gave me,<br/>
Morse had left me a wrapped bottle of really posh perfume, and a romantic<br/>
card that had my Dad raising his eyebrows, and Sam giving me a ribbing.”</p>
<p>“Just before I left, Mum gave me a letter from the Wessex bank that<br/>
contained among other things two fat cheques.<br/>
One for a refund of my pension contributions, and the larger one<br/>
compensation for the ordeal I suffered during the robbery.”</p>
<p>“Yippee I was free!!!!!” </p>
<p>“It was shortly after Christmas when Ray brought up the subject of us<br/>
starting to sleep together again, and I refused saying I was not ready. “ </p>
<p>“I was more than ready, but I would never be ready to sleep with a man<br/>
like him again.”</p>
<p>“He then accused me of being a lesbian, which made a change from being<br/>
called a whore”.</p>
<p>“I just packed my bags and left with a big smile on my face, and<br/>
the words “You’ll be back” ringing in my ears.”<br/>
*  *  *<br/>
To Be Continued:</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>after leaving ray for the final time. joan is given the<br/>opportunity to travel by a surprising benefactor.<br/>while away joan broadens her horizons in more ways than one.<br/>this is taking place in january- february 1968<br/>these are joans reminiscenses and thoughts on her 60th birthday<br/>she is helped by an unknown narrator.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>dedicated  to billy m bird who has been a tremendous help to me.</p>
<p>there is no canon to follow in this timeline, and so for better or<br/>worse it is mostly my own work.</p>
<p>Hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Memories are made of this:<br/>
As told by Joan and an unknown narrator.<br/>
April 11th 2002:<br/>
Introduction:</p>
<p> In the beginning she had believed that Ray Morton was a wonderful man<br/>
who cared for her deeply.<br/>
Then she found out he was married, but worse was to follow, much worse.</p>
<p>“You’ll be back” his sneering voice said, but nothing could have been<br/>
further from the truth. </p>
<p>Joan had money in her purse thanks to the good old Wessex Bank, an urge<br/>
to be independent, and perhaps do some travelling, hopefully in the U.S.A<br/>
where who knows she might have settled down, but fate cruelly decided<br/>
otherwise.</p>
<p> Chapter 2: January 1968<br/>
It was so cold that Joan could hardly dial the number of the Cricketer’s<br/>
Arms pub where her Leamington adventure had begun in June seven<br/>
months ago.</p>
<p>“Yes, we have got a room with breakfast, available for tonight.”   the<br/>
receptionist replied over the phone.<br/>
*****<br/>
“The girl behind the reception desk bristled when she turned the Hotel<br/>
register around, and saw the name I’d just written.<br/>
She let me know in no uncertain terms, that she was Danny’s girl friend<br/>
now, and also the person who had picked up the pieces when I left him to<br/>
take up with Ray Morton.<br/>
The bed and breakfast were “on the house”, but I had to leave before<br/>
Danny started his shift at noon the next day.”</p>
<p>“It was so obvious she saw me as a threat, mind you she was probably<br/>
right, I could be if I wanted.”</p>
<p>The reception Joan got from her Mum Win was thankfully a lot warmer than<br/>
the one she got at the Cricketer’s Arms.<br/>
Knowing the answer, she asked Win if it was all right if she stayed a couple<br/>
of days while she looked for a flat, and a new job in Oxford.</p>
<p>“Mum was ecstatic, and I had to remind her a couple of times that this was<br/>
not going to be permanent.”</p>
<p>“I knew Mum had been busy dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s about my<br/>
relationship with Ray, and she was far from happy about my going back to<br/>
him, after the New Year.”</p>
<p>“Sam told me that after much nagging, Dad finally told Mum all he knew,<br/>
about my life in Leamington with Ray.<br/>
Luckily for Ray, Dad never knew the half of it.”</p>
<p>“We had a wonderful time shopping, chin-wagging, drinking endless cups<br/>
of tea and coffee, and eating Mum’s sublime Victoria sponge cake.”</p>
<p>“Dad was going to be back from his conference in London at the end of the<br/>
week, and I wanted to be settled in my new flat by then.”</p>
<p>“However, it turned out that I ended up staying a bit longer than I originally<br/>
intended.”</p>
<p>Joan found a lovely three bedroom flat in the centre of town, sharing with<br/>
two other girls who were students, and were very nice.<br/>
The downside was her room would not become vacant until the end of<br/>
February, and it was quite pricey.</p>
<p>“I saw that the old Moonlight rooms night club, (where I had a disastrous<br/>
date with Peter Jakes) was being refurbished as a members only Casino,<br/>
and lo and behold they were looking for staff for its opening in early March.<br/>
I was offered a job on the spot as senior cashier at twice the rate I earned<br/>
at the Bank, plus a big bonus at Christmas.<br/>
I explained that after my recent experience at the bank, security was a big<br/>
concern of mine, and I was promised it would be more than adequate. “</p>
<p>“The Manager added in a sinister way that any threat to a member of staff<br/>
would be seen as a threat to the owner, and would be dealt with swiftly and<br/>
ruthlessly by the Security Team.<br/>
I felt a shiver creeping up my back.”</p>
<p>Joan had only two problems now, what to do with herself until March, and<br/>
how to tell her Father she was working for another Vic Caspar.<br/>
******<br/>
“On the mat inside the front door a flimsy pale blue envelope was waiting<br/>
for me.<br/>
It was airmail, I was very excited because I had never received a letter from<br/>
abroad before, let alone airmail.”<br/>
It turned out to be an invitation to visit from:<br/>
Mr &amp; Mrs P. Jakes.<br/>
Yellowstone Ranch.<br/>
Cody.<br/>
Wyoming.<br/>
U.S.A.</p>
<p>Peter went on to say that Hayley’s parents were recently killed in a car<br/>
crash, which meant he was working long hours running the ranch, and<br/>
couldn’t spend as much time with Hayley as he should.<br/>
Her Doctor had advised that she needed female company of her own age<br/>
to lift her depression, and to help look after their eighteen month old<br/>
daughter, Sandy.<br/>
Peter finished by apologising profusely for his conduct on their date two<br/>
years ago, and hoped she could overlook it and come.<br/>
He hoped to hear from her A.S.A.P.</p>
<p>“Well of course I jumped at the chance, I always loved the snow and ice.<br/>
From what I had read, and seen on the TV Yellowstone Park was a winter<br/>
wonderland at this time of the year with very few tourists. I couldn’t wait.”</p>
<p>“But first I was determined to see New York!”</p>
<p>The following ten days went by in a whirlwind of activity for Joan Thursday,<br/>
and when the newly promoted DCI arrived home at the end of the week, it<br/>
was hard to tell who was the more surprised.<br/>
In the mad rush to get things done, Joan had completely forgotten about<br/>
her Father’s imminent return.</p>
<p>He agreed that this was an opportunity that was too good to miss, he<br/>
wasn’t quite so sure about the new flat, but he supposed that anything was<br/>
better than her previous living arrangements.<br/>
Joan thought she would keep quiet about her new job as it would be sure to<br/>
provoke another row with her Dad that would only upset her Mum.</p>
<p>“The long-distance phone call to Wyoming cost almost £20.00 in today’s<br/>
money and only lasted 7 minutes.<br/>
“Peter was so good he refused to let me pay for the flights, and my board<br/>
and lodgings were also taken care of.”</p>
<p>“Finally, all the arrangements were made, my suit cases packed with<br/>
toddler’s clothes as well as my own, and for the third time on the evening<br/>
before my departure, Mum insisted that we check my travel documents,<br/>
and U.S dollars yet again! “</p>
<p>“I couldn’t believe it when Mum asked me for the umpteenth time if I was<br/>
going to be ok going to Heathrow on my own.”</p>
<p> “I remember how attractive I had found Peter 36 years ago.<br/>
What if he had behaved himself, and what if Dad and Morse hadn’t come<br/>
crashing into the nightclub that night, spoiling for a fight with Vic Caspar<br/>
and his gang.”</p>
<p>“I was sure Peter had felt the same about me, and who knows we could<br/>
have ended up spending the night together?”<br/>
*****<br/>
Joan realised that February could be an interesting month.<br/>
*****<br/>
“I must admit I was dreading the Pan Am flight to New York.<br/>
I might discover I was scared of flying?”</p>
<p>“Or worse still what if I became violently ill, and was sick over a fellow<br/>
passenger, but as usual I was worrying over nothing.”</p>
<p>“The food was great, and the drinks just kept on coming.<br/>
I fell asleep somewhere over the Atlantic, waking up with a thumping<br/>
headache, and the embarrassment of finding out I had been sleeping with<br/>
my head on the shoulder of the man sitting in the window seat.<br/>
The worse thing was, Ray was always complaining about my snoring.”<br/>
*****<br/>
It would be hard to believe that Joan was lying in hospital not 5 months ago<br/>
with serious injuries after being thrown down a stairwell at the block of flats<br/>
where she lived with her married boyfriend.<br/>
*****<br/>
During her two-night break in New York, it was doubtful if she spent more<br/>
than 7 hours in bed before,</p>
<p>getting up at 7.30 am for orange juice, pancakes ‘n’ bacon, maple syrup,<br/>
and several cups of strong Espresso coffee, which set her up for a busy<br/>
day of sightseeing and shopping.</p>
<p>Her evenings would finish at a fashionable night club, dancing and drinking<br/>
cocktails with a handsome companion she had only met a few hours<br/>
before.</p>
<p>In between she visited everywhere from Saks on 5th Avenue to the Statue<br/>
of Liberty and Ellis Island, while still finding the time to take a carriage ride<br/>
around Central Park.<br/>
*****<br/>
“Simon introduced himself, and asked if he could join me as the restaurant<br/>
was full.<br/>
If I had to describe Simon in one word it would be impeccable, literally<br/>
everything about him was impeccable. He was an Interior Designer on<br/>
vacation from the Casto district of San Francisco. From what I learnt he<br/>
was extremely successful, and well known in his line of work.”<br/>
“His partner had stupidly cheated on him, and so there we were gazing into<br/>
each other’s eyes, and trying to read each other’s thoughts.</p>
<p>“The evening was suddenly filled with unexpected possibilities.”</p>
<p>“By coincidence we were both going to see West Side Story on Broadway<br/>
and he asked me, in a wonderfully old fashioned way, if he might be<br/>
allowed to escort me.”</p>
<p>“We met in the interval for drinks, and we both agreed the show was<br/>
sensational. Simon suggested we went on to the Cotton Club in Harlem for<br/>
cocktails, when the show was over.”</p>
<p>“What a night that was, I didn’t see my bed until 4.30a.m, and my feet<br/>
certainly paid a price the next day.”</p>
<p>“I’d never been out with a man so cultured, charming, and good fun, who<br/>
enjoyed being with me, just because I was me.”</p>
<p>“Despite Ray, Paul and Ronnie, I foolishly prided myself on being pretty<br/>
savvy about men, but I was not prepared for the way Simon swept me off<br/>
my feet.”</p>
<p>“I had to keep reminding myself about the someone back in San Francisco<br/>
who didn’t deserve him.”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t believe it when I found out that the someone was a he.<br/>
How could I be so naive?”</p>
<p>“Simon never tried to hide anything, but there was no escaping the fact,<br/>
that my ideal man was GAY!”</p>
<p>“I really felt as if fate was having a good laugh at my expense”<br/>
*****<br/>
They both had late evening flights from J.F.K. and so they decided to visit<br/>
The Empire State building in the morning, spending their time strolling<br/>
round the Observation platform, hand in hand while they enjoyed the views,<br/>
and each other’s company.</p>
<p>“Simon insisted we visited Katz’s Deli on the Lower East Side of Manhattan<br/>
for lunch. It was a kosher restaurant, and probably one of the best known<br/>
eateries in New York.”</p>
<p>“We had to wait over 20 minutes to be seated, but it was well worth the<br/>
wait.”</p>
<p>“Katz’s was loud, brash and totally confusing, how anybody got their order<br/>
was a mystery to me, everybody seemed to be so busy, the diners were<br/>
incredibly impatient, and the waiters unbelievably rude, but I loved it.”</p>
<p>“This was just pure Americana; it could have been a set from West Side<br/>
Story the musical we saw the other night.”</p>
<p>“Poor Simon, who was far more used to Fine Dining, was so far out of his<br/>
comfort zone here that I took over the ordering.”</p>
<p>“Roast beef on rye with apple pie and cream to follow.”</p>
<p>“Simon just ordered salt beef with mustard on rye claiming he had to watch<br/>
his figure! He looked just like Steve McQueen, and he was telling me he<br/>
was watching his figure?”</p>
<p>“As we were both “out of towners” they threw in a couple of large Dill<br/>
pickles on the house, and as many cups of coffee as we could possibly<br/>
drink.”</p>
<p>“Simon gave me his pickle which I wolfed down with relish.”</p>
<p>“How did they manage to get so much meat between 2 slices of bread?” </p>
<p>                                              *****<br/>
There was just time for a leisurely stroll round Central Park before they had<br/>
to pack their bags and head off to J.F.K.</p>
<p>“When we arrived at the Airport, we had our last cup of coffee together at<br/>
table 54, its funny the things you recall”</p>
<p>“We made the usual promises to keep in touch. Suddenly I kissed Simon in<br/>
a far from brotherly way, my eyes welled up as I realised, I was well and<br/>
truly in love with this guy.”</p>
<p>“Forgetting my pride and dignity, I blurted out to him exactly how I felt, and<br/>
then I made a dash for my departure gate , too embarrassed to look back . When I<br/>
passed through, I looked for the restroom, I rinsed my face, brushed my<br/>
hair, and put on fresh make up. I felt ready to face the world again......<br/>
and the 4 hour flight to Cody, Wyoming.”<br/>
*****<br/>
Because of the 2 hour time difference, Joan arrived on time at 1.55 am<br/>
M.S.T.<br/>
*****<br/>
“Peter was waving frantically at me from the arrivals lounge. As he bent<br/>
down to kiss me on the cheek, I quickly realised he was not the debonair<br/>
young Police Sergeant I so fancied two or three years ago.<br/>
His fingers were badly stained with nicotine and his hands calloused by<br/>
hard work, which I think I noticed more, after being gently caressed on the<br/>
cheek by Simon’s perfectly manicured hands a short while before.</p>
<p> The smell of cheap whiskey lingered on his breath, like a reminder of a<br/>
night best forgotten.”</p>
<p>“On the drive back to the Ranch the truth came out that Hayley was on the<br/>
verge of leaving him if he didn’t soon change his ways.”</p>
<p>The ranch had been struggling for some time. Peter’s late father-in-law<br/>
wouldn’t countenance any form of change.<br/>
The problem for the Yellowstone ranch was, it was just not big enough to<br/>
compete with some of the gigantic spreads in Wyoming, Montana,<br/>
Colorado, and Idaho. </p>
<p>What the Yellowstone ranch did have however was the Yellowstone<br/>
National park on its doorstep.</p>
<p>“I struck up an immediate rapport with Hayley, and as our friendship began<br/>
to blossom, we began to do more and more things together.<br/>
Peter would happily stay at home looking after Sandy, while we would be<br/>
off delivering feed to the outlying cattle in the uplands, and making sure<br/>
their watering holes were clear of ice.”</p>
<p>“February in Yellowstone was bitterly cold, but in spite of this nothing could<br/>
match the sight of an icicle covered Bison trudging through the snow<br/>
covered meadows” </p>
<p>“The sky always seemed to be impossibly blue, and the air breathtakingly<br/>
clean.”</p>
<p> The clouds of steam caused by the boiling hot water of “Old<br/>
Faithfull “meeting the freezing cold air, was a wonder to behold.”</p>
<p>“I never expected to see so much wildlife particularly wolves and elks.<br/>
They had both descended to the warmer plains for the winter, it was<br/>
the wolves mating season which kept them constantly on the move,<br/>
looking for a mate.”</p>
<p>“How could you ever leave this place for Oxford,” I remember asking<br/>
Hayley on one of our many excursions into the park.”<br/>
*****<br/>
Joan and Hayley were just back from mending the fences in the far north of<br/>
the Ranch, and while they were parking the Snow-Cat, Peter came out to<br/>
tell them to hurry up because a killer blizzard was on its way.</p>
<p>“Everything that could be battened down was battened down.<br/>
All the livestock we could reach in the time available were herded into the<br/>
barns and outhouses, and finally we cleared away anything the wind could<br/>
use as a battering ram”</p>
<p>“There was nothing much left to do but drink coffee, except for Peter who<br/>
preferred Bourbon.”</p>
<p>“It was while we were in the kitchen, making coffee that Hayley confided in<br/>
me that Peter was claustrophobic, and hated these lockdowns. She thought<br/>
it dated from his school days when he was often punished for being<br/>
naughty by being locked in an old dark wooden cupboard”</p>
<p>“The wind was starting to pick up when the three of us heard a shutter<br/>
banging on its frame, it was one I had missed.<br/>
Hayley was busy with Sandy and Peter was busy with getting pissed, so<br/>
I volunteered to close it.” </p>
<p>“I found the offending shutter pretty quickly, but now my attention was<br/>
drawn to the gathering storm far away to the north where Hayley and I had<br/>
been working earlier on in the day.”</p>
<p>“I stood transfixed, watching the massive blue-black cumulous, and<br/>
sulphurous yellow, nimbus storm clouds racing towards me, with fork<br/>
and sheet lightening bolts dancing around them.”</p>
<p>“Peter broke the hypnotic spell by shaking me as hard as he could and<br/>
dragging me inside. The full force of the blizzard slammed into the Ranch<br/>
house less than 5 minutes later.”</p>
<p>“The first thing to go was the chimney stack, as it always did.<br/>
Thirty minutes later, I screamed as we were plunged in to darkness when<br/>
the ancient primary and auxiliary generators exploded with the effort of<br/>
trying to keep us warm following a catastrophic drop in temperature.”</p>
<p>“Hayley thought it was time to go down into the cellar, once we had<br/>
damped down the log fire.”</p>
<p>“Peter however decided he would rather take his chances upstairs in the<br/>
sitting room.”</p>
<p>The cellar was originally built as a fall-out shelter in the late 50’s<br/>
by Hayley’s father who was convinced nuclear war was imminent.<br/>
It was concrete and lead lined, and contained all the necessities for life,<br/>
and a few creature comforts.</p>
<p>“Peter held the trap door open while the 3 of us made our way down the<br/>
wood  staircase. It was not what I expected.<br/>
A petrol generator for heating, candles for light, and bunk beds with<br/>
sleeping bags. The space itself was bone dry and quite cosy.”</p>
<p>“Sandy had cried all the time upstairs, but the relative quiet of the cellar<br/>
soon encouraged her to fall asleep.”</p>
<p>“Once Sandy had gone off to sleep, we began talking.<br/>
Hayley told me about a secret she had to get off her chest which she<br/>
begged me to keep to myself.”</p>
<p>“It was my Dad who had arranged for and paid for my visit.</p>
<p>Peter was certainly not overworked, and Hayley was not desperately<br/>
depressed or unable to cope with Sandy.” </p>
<p>“Just at the end of her tether with Peter’s drinking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was sure that not even Mum knew about Dad’s last throw of the dice to<br/>
get me away from Ray. He was probably hoping I would fall for a rich<br/>
cowboy who would marry me, and give him a couple of Grandkids.”</p>
<p>“Instead, I had fallen for a rich Interior Designer who wouldn’t give him<br/>
Grandkids in a million years.”</p>
<p>“In return I told Hayley about my tangled love life, leaving out the small part<br/>
her husband played in it.”</p>
<p>“When I had finished, Hayley asked me coyly if I had ever been with a<br/>
woman before, and would I like to try?”</p>
<p>“It took a few seconds before the penny dropped, and I eventually<br/>
answered No, and Yes.”</p>
<p>“Hayley never told me where or how she learned to do the things she did to<br/>
me, but she certainly had a good teacher!<br/>
*****<br/>
To Be Continued</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading i hope you enjoyed it.<br/>as usual comments and kudos more than welcome</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading, comments welcome</p></blockquote></div></div>
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